Turnabout FedEx
by Frank Sahwitnatra
Summary: A random fic that involves shipping and probably breaking the canon. Kinda choppy, sorry... Takes place 1 year post-DD. I don't own the rights to Ace Attorney, but I do own a copy all of the games.
1. Defendant's Lobby- 14:10

**Author's Note: This is my first published fanfic, so it might not be so good... Obviously...** **I decided to write this in "dialogue crit". (meaning no "said") This fanfic is mainly Klema, but also Narumitsu and "Intellectual Attraction". Some chars might be OOC, but I tried. Thanks for your support!**

Ema: ...

Klavier: Alright, Liebste?

Klavier: Phoenix... please... get a complete acquittal.

Nick: _They kissed in public... this is __**very**__ serious... Well, it is a murder case._

Maya: Nick! I got your "vital evidence"!

**Franziska's Whip added to Court Record**

Bailiff: It's time to enter the courtroom!

At this moment in time, Klavier and Ema just completely PDA'd 4 defense attorneys, 7 detectives, and 2 spirit mediums.

Pearls: Now that is a kiss! Meow!

Maya: _I didn't think anyone's dirty mind could top mine..._

Pearls: _I want to be around during one of their "fun tim-_

Bailiff: I SAID ENTER THE COURTROOM!


	2. Courtroom No 3- 15:30

Gaspen: OBJECTION!

Judge: Overruled. I really want to hear who the defense thinks this fourth person was.

Nick: TAKE THAT! **Larry Butz's Profile**

Judge: I seem to remember this man from somewhere...

Nick: Of course, Your Honor. He's been a witness, a defendant, and a sub attorney.

Nick: Not that he was good at doing it.

Nick: No seriously, his 4th case testimony was so odd it turned around the whole case.

Nick: And remember 3-5 Bridge to the Turnabout? His testimony- or rather his-

Judge: *gavel slam*

Judge: What is your proof that Larry Butz was there?

Nick: TAKE THAT! **Larry Butz's Scarf**

Nick: This was at the crime scene.

Gaspen: OBJECTION!

Gaspen: Where are you going with this, Wrong?

Nick: Cookies...

Judge: Cookies?

Nick: are the key to this case.

Gaspen: OBJECTION!

Gaspen: Wrong, what are you mumbling about?

Nick: Take a look at the Court Record. You'll see a plate with the defendant's and the victim's fingerprints...

Nick: The court assumed this was the murder weapon, since of the fingerprint direction. However, there is one more way they could be holding it in this same way.

Nick: If the defendant was serving the victim cookies!

Gaspen: AUGH!

Gaspen: OBJECTION!

Gaspen: Then what **was **the murder weapon?

Nick: Easy. There wasn't one.

Gaspen: WHAT?

Judge: But there was blood at the crime scene!

Nick: Have you ever stubbed a toe, Your Honor?

Judge: Yes, I did yesterday, and it really hurt! And I got blood on the flo- OH!

Nick: I claim that the reason we never found the body at the scene is because the **victim** is the true culprit!

Gaspen: NNONONONNONONONOOOOOOOO!

Judge: What do you mean?

Nick: The victim tried to fake death long enough to give Ema Skye a large penalty- in life.

Nick: Permanent prison.

Gaspen: UBGECTEN!

Gaspen: Proof!

Nick: TAKE THAT! **Gaspen Payne's Profile**

Nick: As I was saying earlier, Gaspen Payne is the key to this case. He's always on his phone. What exactly is on his phone? Well, the key to the case!

Nick: Gaspen Payne... IS AN **ACCOMPLICE!**

Gaspen: THEV&amp;KIBB(HK^UHK&amp;*IJHFHGYGMFMF$UV$$J

Judge: To murder?

Nick: There was no murder, remember? He was an accomplice to **faulted imprisoning!**

Gaspen: QQQWWWEEERRRTTTYYYUUUIIIOOOPPPAAASSSDDDFFFGGGHHHJJJKKKLLLZZZXXXCCCVVVBBBNNNMMM

Judge: Gaspen is now in questioning.

Judge: I believe it's time to declare a verdict.

Judge: Any objections?

?: uh... objection!1111one!one1!11one1!

?: ...

?: Oopsy I forgot what I was going to say

Bailiff: Sir! Gaspen's getting away!

Judge: GET HIM!

**A/N: Ok Chapter 1 was lame, but I think this could actually go somewhere!**

**Chapter 1 was to mainly establish the problem, and this kind of started you up on the main plot.**

**Also, everything that happened in court today will be established in a later chapter.**

**EdgeZiskaWright-**

**nice umbrellas...**

**The story's not a oneshot, but I can see where you might think that.**

**And sorry for the short first chapter to you and to everyone else!**


	3. Wright Anything Agency- 20:20

**A/N: Hello nobody! Oh wait... Ok as the name states, this is supposed to fit bunch of ships, so this chapter is purely TrucyXPearl fluff.**

**Reviews/Ratings:**

**Integras- ikr bro. (no really, what ****was**** last chapter?)**

**GameLord4BritishBronies- Thank you!**

**Ryszard- It's just the style of this fic! Various characters kinda break the fourth wall in the games, so why not me? :)**

Trucy Wright sat in her dad's chair, knowing that he wouldn't be back for hours.

Pearl: Hola, senorita.

Trucy: Actually, there's a tilde over the "n" Like this. ñ

Pearl: Okay, Little Miss Picky.

Trucy: I'll have you know I'm 16!

Pearl: TAKE THAT! **Pearl Fey's Profile **I'm 17, Li'l Sniper.

Trucy: Where **do **you come up with these pet names for me?

Pearl: It's just how my mind works, Hoothoot...

Trucy: THATS A POKEMON!

Pearl: Actually, it's Pok**é**mon...

Trucy: Idiot.

Pearl: [But] you love me.

Trucy: _WHATNOW?_

The more she thought but it, the more she realized she did love Pearl Fey.

Trucy: Well, yeah...

Pearl: C'mon, let's go to the bedroom... you can be the girl "Winston Payne".

Trucy: Idiot.

Pearl: [But] you love me.

* * *

Nick: TRUCY!

Trucy: Whu... What?

Nick: You fell asleep watching soap operas again!

Trucy: oops.

Nick: Also, you were screaming weird stuff in your sleep... Something about tildes and Pokemon... Oh, Whatever...

**A/N 2: Trucy also imagined a female Winston Payne. YIKES. CREEPY. I'm sorry, Truce, but I control your life so... NO REGRETS**

**Also- I know this chapter is short but who cares, Wright? It's just some random fluffy crap I found in a yogurt bar. AND THERE WILL BE MORE! ****_possibly more intense_**

Cryan Payne: oh yeah

**IS THIS AN OC BIZ OH GOD**


	4. Questioning Room- 17:22

**A/N: OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE MY LAST UPDATE IM SORRY**

**Anyway, last chapter sucked, so now I'm doing something else. Also, I'm thinking of making this a Dual Destines fic once I finish it. I don't know why though. Also, there are 2 Paynes, not 3, just so you know.**

**1caaake: That's exactly what I was going for. I don't make sense. Sense is irrelevant in my work.**

Ema: So, ? guy. Your "outburst" got Gaspen away. So tell us info or you'll get Snackoo'd.

?: Well then. My name is y/n, Detective. **(Just so you know, y/n means the name of the reader)**

Gumshoe: So pal, you one o' Mr. Payne's accomplices?

y/n: You don't know that.

Miles: Detectives, the Wrights and the Feys will be joining us soon.

Ema: What about Klavier?

Miles: I'll check, Ms. Skye.

y/n: Well, you all should go to your dinner.

Ema: I will personally beat you to death, y/n.

Maya: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, Ema.

Ema: Maya!

Maya: Hello!

Ema: Where's Mr. Wright and Tru-

Pearl: Cy?

Randomly, the Wrights appeared at this moment. Nick was dazed, Trucy was excited, and Apollo-

**wait, Apollo is not a Wright. crap um well he's trucy's brother so i guess idek who cares**

Trucy: Hi folkies!

?: Folkies?

Nick: That voice...

?: 'ello, Trite.

Nick: Godot!

Godot: Glad you remember me.

Maya: You were arrested for murdering my mom!

Godot: I know.

Ema: So you must be the famous prosecutor Go-dot?

Godot: It's pronounced Gu-dough.

Ema: Ok, Mr Goodo!

Godot: I SAID IT OUT LOUD HOW HARD CAN IT BE

Godot: Just call me Diego, Lab Coat person.

Ema: LAB COAT PERSON O YU JUST ANGERED ME M8 O YEA

...

...

...

Godot: oops

**A/N2: And that concludes chapter 4. Thank god. Review if you want, even bad ones make me feel loved. :)**


	5. Fey Manor- 19:18

**A/N: Hey guys! Annonimus brought up a very good point in a review a while ago, and that is that MY TIMELINE IS OFF!**

**(AJ ends in 2026 and DD is in 2027, so Nick DID get his badge back)**

**Ok, there's an explanation.**

**When I started, I hadn't started DD. Now, I'm done with it. Originally, this was AU, meaning DD never happened, but I liked DD WAAAY too much to let that happen now.**

**HOWEVER!**

**What happened to main characters that weren't there during the other chapters? (Athena anyone****‽‽‽****) **

**So... I'm making something happen. This is still AU, but only (very) slightly. DD happened and Nick got his badge back when he did, and this takes the place of the weird time gap after DD. Prepare for your favorite chars, people!**

Maya: LADIES AND... MEN? Welcome to the new game show, "Can Nick do Easy Things!" I'm your host, Maya Fey!

Maya: Today, let's have Nick ask out some of his friends on dates and see how miserably he fails!

*cuts to video*

Nick: Hey, um.. uh, umm... Apollo...

Apollo: I've cleaned the toilet THREE TIMES!

Nick: Well, umm... umm... nope.

Nick: **** you, Maya, I'm not doing it.

Maya: and that is why he is single, folks.

Pearl: Mystic Maya, there is no audience. You're just playing with Mr. Nick's phone... SPEAKING OF WHICH, I SAW HIM GIGGLE WITH EDJIWERTH

Pearl: SHOULDA SLAPPED HIM

Maya: Calm, don't go crazy.

Pearl: SPECAIL SUMONEONe1!1111!1!1

Maya: "Specail?" Really? "Sumone?" YOU GRADUATED JUST MONTHS AGO!

Pearl: Oh, sorry Mystic Maya. I'll calm down now.

Maya: You better.

Maya: Oh, crap, Mia's coming over.

Pearl: Who's turn is it?

Maya: Yours. I'll be Mia.

Pearl: Thank you!

Maya: Goodbye.

Maya proceeds to summon Mia.

Mia: Ello poppet.

Mia: *holds up knife*

Mia: *wig &amp; mask falls off*

Pearl: Wait... are you?!

"Mia": Gaspen Payne, at your service.

*shink*


	6. Unknown- ?

**A/N: Oh my god. **

**I'm literally loling right now.**

**Because of an AMAZING reviewer named Integras.**

**Just... thank you.**

**Have a cookie.**

**Ok, lets get going with the chapter!**

y/n: Yes, master. I have the desired item.

?: Perfect.

y/n hands ? a bloody axe and a lantern.

?: I shall go into the spirit world and give that girl what she deserves.

y/n: Mr. Fawles, I don't see the point, she's already dea-

Fawles: CALL ME MASTER. TERRY FAWLES IS NO MORE.

Fawles: I want to get that- other one, too.

Fawles: What's her name?

y/n: Who?

Fawles: The hippie attorney who got me poisoned.

y/n: Mia Fey did not get you poisoned.

Fawles: I DON'T CARE.

y/n: Where is Gaspen, master?

Fawles: Tending to the bodies.

y/n: Who's?

Fawles: Hippie Attorney's sister &amp; cousin.

y/n: They're dead? I... don't understand.

y/n: You promised me this was only for ridding the world of crime.

Fawles: Promise? Ha. I was "promised" a better life by Dahlia. See where that brought me. I was "promised" a Not Guilty verdict. A promise is merely a method of which one fools the weak.

y/n: Zebra-boy. I'm done with you. I have an axe and a flaming lantern. That's all I need... Idiot.

Fawles: What? Ugh! Noooooo! It can't beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

*crack*

...

*sizzle*

...


	7. this is not a chapter

** . ?n=7921884**


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